Two of my three children have already received their First Eucharist, so I've seen how this holiest of sacraments can get turned into a three-ring circus, what with the fancy hair-dos and even fancier dresses, not to mention the after parties that rival weddings in some families and towns.
I have to admit that I never felt any pressure to keep up with the Joneses. Although I live in a very comfortable town where lots of folks do like to go all out on special occasions, there were just as many families who opted for simple suits and dresses for their children and simple buffet gatherings of baked ziti and salad after the sacramental meal that was the real main event.
So I found an article in the Irish Independent (h/t to Francis Toms) somewhat intriguing when it focused on atheists and people of other faiths who feel forced to give their children something like a Communion party even though they don't believe. All of the folks interviewed said that, despite the fact that Ireland is overwhelmingly Catholic and the Catholic faith is an accepted part of education, they never felt pressured by the Church or schools to have their children make First Communion. The pressure came from their children.
So this has nothing to do with a dominant religion asserting itself and making people feel like they need to be Catholic. This has to do with spoiled children asserting themselves by insisting they get everything everyone else has, even when it is opposed to everything their family believes. Or doesn't believe.
From one atheist mom's interview with the Independent:
"We also had 'Abby day' on the Communion day as a kind of rite of passage. Both our families got together and we celebrated her as part of the family and the wider community."
Abby day? Not exactly the way to make a child less self-centered, is it? And certainly not in the spirit of what First Communion is all about.
This story, although it's mostly about atheists, has a lot to teach those of us who believe in the Catholic faith. It's a reminder of how quickly the special events of our Church life can deteriorate into just another party if we don't watch out.
This year as First Communion season approaches, let's try to remember that Jesus is the reason for this season too. The veils are pretty, but they don't need to be made by the Communion-circuit equivalent of Vera Wang. The parties are important, too, because community is part of our faith and gathering for a meal with the people we love is a wonderful way to take what we hear in Church out into the world. But the party should be about celebrating a real religious milestone not about outdoing the neighbors.
It's not about the stuff we can buy in a store that makes First Eucharist special. It's about the One who gave us the ultimate gift, a gift that will certainly top anything you'll find in those boxes and envelopes left by the long line of party guests.
Read the full story about Communion day envy in Ireland, HERE.
